four words that should not be used together

Enjoyed the fog and rain of San Francisco all weekend.*  When the rain stopped for a hour I zipped over to the Ferry Building where I encountered a multitude of specialty food vendors.

This epicurean variety is of special interest to mid-western city dwellers like moi who think tasting more than two varieties of cheese at Kroger on Saturday morning is a big deal. The Ferry Building houses:

1. The Ever Present Really Expensive Coffee Shop

2. The Yummy Wine Tasting Shop

3. The Very Fun Olive Oil Tasting Shop

4. The Organic Fruit Shop, and 

5. The Run-By-People-Who-Speak-French-But-May-Not-Actually-Be-French-But-It-Still-Has-To-Be-Authentic Pastry Shop.  

But it was the moment that I encountered this sign that I was stopped in my tracks and thought, “these four words should simply not be used together: Tasty. Salted. Pig. Parts.    

I shall explain:

1. I’ve never considered any pig part tasty. Hot dogs, bacon, spiral sliced ham is too salty, sometimes fried and all noticeably fatty. I can stomach a perfectly sliced square of prosciutto wrapped around an asparagus spear at a tony wedding reception but that’s the extent of my pork eating thank you very much.

2. We all know that additional salt is not good for the diet. Since this is only my second reason I admit it’s a big early to reference my first comment, but please review reason #1. 

3. I like pigs. They’re smart, can be house trained just like a dog, and can play games. And I saw that cute movie ‘Babe: A Pig’ which only furthered their cute factor. I say we should just leave them alone.  

4. Parts. Makes me think of a parts department at a car dealership.  So now I’m reminded of grease on a garage floor along with the pig parts. And that’s just another gross thought.

Needless to say I passed-up this particular vendor in favor of the gelato store.  One scoop of Mocha Chip please.  

And at almost $5 a scoop, the scoop is dinner.

* I kept telling myself it’s good for my skin.

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